My Year of Lessons
Today marks the start of the best month of the year, or as I like to call it… MY BIRTHDAY MONTH! When I warned… I mean… reminded… my husband that tomorrow starts my Birthday month he let out a Oh my god in an un-amused sigh.
Yes, some of it has to do with the fact that I was never allowed to celebrate my birthday when I was growing up! (Story to this in Chapter 1 here ) Which is why I celebrate the entire freaking month. I mean... the ENTIRE MONTH.
But, at the same time, like most people I tend to take stock of my life and what the last year has been for me. And if you have been reading my past blogs you pretty much have the full picture. But.. I've got a couple of new updates.
As you know, I closed two GIANT businesses I owned, moved into new offices, and started two NEW businesses. I have massively downsized my entire life. I am in a much smaller office, with fewer employees, and for some reason now have four business addresses. That’s a story for another day….
I am working even longer hours, and more days then I was before – but somehow it is different? Derek looked at me the other day and said. Babe… I like this new Hannah.
What does that mean? And really it was hard for him to explain it to me. But I knew what it was.
I am at peace.
I am excited.
I am having fun.
There is still a lot of stress – but it is good stress – from having GOOD PROBLEMS.
My life is simpler. My shoulders are lighter. And I am more excited to do new things.
The other major change in my life is that my daughter, Mia, moved to her Father’s house. At first I thought I would be devastated. She did it out of anger towards me because I grounded her. So one day, while I was gone on a business trip she packed up her room and moved out. Her dad had called me while I was gone to talk to me about it, but I did not expect her room to be cleaned out when I got home.
I had always told her that if she ever decided to move to her dads house that she had to stay there for a MINIMUM of six months. Not to punish her – but to make her realize that she cannot play games, whenever she is mad at one of us, and just go to the other’s house. So six months it is. Which means she cannot come home until July. And again – MINIMUM means that she will respect me, Derek, and our rules or else she’s not coming back. She can stay put.
My seventeen year old daughter gets straight A’s. She takes two college classes at two different Colleges, and works a steady job. I have to trust that I have taught her well and pray that she makes the right decisions. What else can I do?
Because that’s all we CAN DO – right? All we can do is the best we can and pray that it all works out. And if it doesn’t… we have to keep plugging along.
Side note: What's ironic is that on this day LAST YEAR.. I posted Chapter 18 blog ON OUR OWN. That highlighted Mia and I together, figuring it out when she was just a baby. (I'm not crying!)
So - Mia and I talk just about every day – and I have noticed that our relationship has improved. Because I am not the disciplinarian I am able to have real thoughtful conversations with her about what is going on in her life. She is more open to me because she misses me, and because I am not the one enforcing the rules.
But yes – I sure do laugh when I think she had her own room and her own bathroom here. And now she shares a room with her 7 year old sister, and a bathroom with three siblings under the age of 10!
Anyway – it has taken me quite a few months to appreciate what I went through this last year. To appreciate what I had. And to appreciate even more what I have now. I made it to the other side.
Now I can breathe. I can think. I can enjoy my life.
And what is amazing is that I am in the middle of my NEXT BIG ADVENTURE. I am in it – and I am having the time of my life!
My promise to myself this year is that I will keep having fun and working my ass off – but I will take better care of me and my health. I have also promised myself that I would reach out to some of my friends that I have not spent enough time with. I lost myself for a while there and I am ready to start my apology tour!
This is the advice that I can give, now that I have 20-20 hind sight….
Just keep going. Just keep moving. You will keep falling. And you will keep getting up. You will make it to the other side - I promise.
Happy Birthday April Babies!