I Don't Know Everything
I currently have a 16 year old daughter in High School, and two nieces in Middle School. And what I know for sure is - they think they know everything. If you have teenagers, then you know what I mean.
I absolutely remember being a know-it-all asshole - just like them. And I am bewildered at the fact that my parents put up with me for so long.
But as you mature, as all of us do, we realize by the shock of reality that we actually DO NOT know everything. It is a hard lesson to learn, isn't it? And sometimes, life will still kick us in the ass and remind us that we STILL do not know everything.
For me, as a very independent, defiant young 20 something - It took very hard lessons to teach me that I had a lot to learn. I remember reading the quote one day "The moment you think you know everything, is the moment you know nothing at all." And it struck a cord with me. I am not sure why - because I really did think I knew EVERYTHING. But this took me on my quest to know EVERYTHING to this day.
As a child I LOVED to read. I also loved taking my toys apart to see why and how they worked. This then bled into my adult life now, where I just love to understand why and how people do business. This is why I loved selling radio commercials so much. I loved to understand how and when they made their money. Who their customer was, and understand why they were buying. It enabled me to create very successful radio campaigns for them - but really it also let me dig into how and why their business worked.
This sparked a life long journey in understanding all businesses, and consumer insights. Why do we buy the things we do? It is because we need them? Yeah right. I do not NEED 12 pairs of black sandals. But there is something in me that makes me want to buy them. Perhaps the same reason why I need 14 mugs with different sayings on them - even though I am the only one who drinks coffee in my house?
There is always lots of reading you can do - but my favorite is to ask. I LOVE to talk to people about what they do and why they do it. If you really want to learn about how to be successful, ask someone you admire how they got into business, why they started, and most importantly - ask them what their biggest mistake was. This is the biggest lesson they have learned and has the most insight on what NOT to do on your path to success.
On a personal note. Part of not knowing everything includes asking for help. This is one of the hardest things for me to do. My grandfather, Bumpa, likes to tease me about when I was little and he would try to help me to do something and I would pull away from him "No! I do it myself!"
I am sure we have all heard this from the little kids in our life. But really, we all need help at some point. My biggest flaw is trying to do too much all at once. So everything kind of gets done half-ass. It is SO HARD for me to ask for help, but I am training myself to say it out loud one day at a time.
The second thing that some find difficult to do is say that they don't know how to do something. I run into this all the time. Just say it! We all found out how to do everything from someone else. Whether it was cooking eggs or wiping your ass - someone showed you! So just say it out loud and let them teach you. There is no way that you can know how to do EVERYTHING.
Even though I do not care what people think - I find myself stumbling a little bit when I am trying to say that I do not know how to do it. Like... the words are hard to come out of my mouth. I kind of laugh at myself and think "what is wrong with you???" But I recently realized it's because the old "I Do IT MYSELF" still wants to come out. And if I do it myself I don't need help, right? WRONG. I need both!
But when you learn that
You don't know everything
It's ok not to know how to do everything
It's good to ask for help
The world is such an EASIER place to live!
Have you ever seen someone try to stumble through something that you KNOW they don't know what they are doing. Or when you are talking to someone and you KNOW that they do not know what they are talking about - and what's even worse THEY know that they do not know what they are talking about - but they don't want to look stupid so they just keep talking?
OH GOD IT IS PAINFUL!
Don't be them.
I notice that people have much more respect for me when I admit that I do not know how to do something, but that I want to learn. Or that I am going to find out the answer and come back to them. They appreciate the honesty and the sincerity of this. They trust the relationship. In other words - they know you are not full of shit!
And when you admit you do not know something - it is very interesting to hear other person's opinions on the subject. There are many conversations that my husband and I will get into while watching CNN. Full on debates - where my side of the explanation is NOT what I BELIEVE. But where I think the other person or group is coming from. And that is why they DID this or that. Whether I agree with them or not - I must first understand why they believe something. What drives them. And then I can speak to them coming from this direction.
It's a constant learning - and learning from the other persons side of things is where I am heading to next.....
In the meantime, I would love to share two very recent sources of learning that I have absolutely loved...
NPR Podcast: How I Built This (AMAZING stories from the founders of Corporations such as LaraBar, Atari, Stitch Fix, etc)
And How to Be an Overnight Success, by Maria Hatzistefanis - the founder of Rodial Skincare.
I highly recommend both.
So Go Out into the world this week - and ask for help!